


let you go

by fanbutt



Category: K-pop, SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Heavy Angst, Men Crying, No Fluff, Other, Sad, Suicide, lapslock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 01:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11025951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanbutt/pseuds/fanbutt
Summary: joshua always picks up calls from jeonghan . until one day, he didn't.





	let you go

**Author's Note:**

> lmao enjoy sum angst + sad shit.
> 
> nd if ya wanna yell at me on twitter!  
> twitter: yolkju

"hm?" jeonghan hummed at the sound of a notification.

" what is it?" seungcheol asked

" it's a voicemail from joshua." he replied.

" oh? maybe he needed something on the way back. i wonder why he didn't come with us , though." seungcheol thought aloud. 

" well there's only one way to find out," jeonghan said and clicked on the voicemail.

"hey.. how are you? " joshuas voicemail started out with. there was a moment of silence in his voicemail before he continued," i dont know why i called you but when we see each other again", another moment of silence and a small sigh before joshua ended it with," no nevermind."

" what...was that?" seungcheol questioned then asked," do you think he's okay?" 

" probably tired or something. maybe he forgot to ask for something. hold up i'll call him back." jeonghan replied.

jeonghan clicked call and waited till joshua picked up, but he never did. 

" it went straight to voicemail. " jeonghan told seungcheol as he hung up. 

" oh. busy?" seungcheol asked.

" no, no, no. he never misses any of my calls. he always picks up, no matter what. something's going on, cheol. joshua isn't okay. " jeonghan worried.

it was never good when jeonghan worried. he was always a carefree , loving person. he hardly worried so when he did , you probably should too. 

seungcheol thought for a while on what to do next and he said to jeonghan," we've gotta go. i have a bad feeling about this. " 

both seungcheol and jeonghan speed walked out of the store and to the car. jeonghan's right leg wouldn't stop shaking because of how worried he was for joshua. 

" we shouldn't have left him alone...this worry we have right now..it wouldn't be happening if we just let him come with us.." jeonghan mumbled to himself.

seungcheol sighed and rested his arm on jeonghan's shaky leg.   
" don't put the blame on yourself. i doubt he would of actually enjoyed shopping. " seungcheol calmly, told him.

" maybe..maybe you're right. " jeonghan tried convincing himself .

seungcheol parked into the driveway of the dorm. once he parked, jeonghan quickly ran to the door to unlock it. jeonghan couldn't as he was shaking anxiously. seungcheol watched him for almost a solid minute before saying , " need any help, jeonghan?"

jeonghan sighed and sadly replied, "yeah."

seungcheol quickly unlocked the door and jeonghan ran inside, worried. 

" shua!!" jeonghan called out , but no answer. 

seungcheol took his sweater off , quickly then told jeonghan," i'll go look for him." to which jeonghan nodded in agreement. 

seungcheol looked and looked for a good twenty minutes, but no sign of joshua ever being there. 

seungcheol sighed and jeonghan asked," any signs of shua?"   
seungcheol sadly sighed and replied, " nope . nothing. it's like he never existed. " 

" same here " jeonghan said.

" did you check the bathroom? maybe he's taking a massive shit or something." seungcheol suggested.

" i didn't check it. did you?" jeonghan asked

" nope. it was locked when i checked. " seungcheol replied.

" alright, i'll go get the spare key. " jeonghan said and left to get it.

jeonghan was about to unlock the door when seungcheol stopped him.  
" what is it?" jeonghan asked  
" what if he's not in there?" seungcheol asked  
" well..call him then," jeonghan replied.  
seungcheol sighed and clicked call. they both heard ringing on the inside of the bathroom, but joshua never picked up. 

seungcheol had went somewhere else in the dorm to call if they'd seen joshua anywhere.  
meanwhile, jeonghan had still been by the bathroom slowly opening the door and what he had seen could only be described as hell and sadness. there were pills thrown on the ground , only about three or so still in the container. an overflowing bathtub which held the boy who they were searching for, joshua. jeonghan and gasped and fell to the ground, sobbing harder than he ever had in his entire life.   
" shua..shua..no.." jeonghan said in between loud sobs. 

seungcheol had finished calling all the members, but none of them knew where he was. seungcheol slowly walked into the bathroom saying," none of the members know where he i-" seungcheol stopped in his tracks , seeing jeonghan crying with joshua's lifeless body.   
" call...call the members to get over here.." jeonghan had managed to get out inbetween sobs.  
" but it's our day off-" seungcheol had began to say.  
" who gives a fuck if it's our day off! one of our members are dead! is that all you care about?" jeonghan yelled at him.   
-  
seungcheol had called all of them and within twenty minutes or so, they had all arrived. jeonghan's sobs still hadn't resided.   
" oh..oh my god.." vernon had quietly whispered to nobody in particular.  
" well..what do we do now? one of our vocalists is dead.." seungkwan thought aloud.  
nobody dared to answer because they were all so situated on joshua. on why it happened or maybe, trying to distract themselves that this wasn't real. 

 

jihoon sighed and left the room of mourning. jihoon went to joshua's room and layed on his bed until, he felt a piece of paper. his suicide note. joshua knew what he was doing he didn't do it as an accident and everyone knew. jihoon slowly picked up the paper expecting pages of writing , but no , it was one sentence.   
" i'm sorry i killed myself. " 

jihoon sighed. joshua always put the blame on himself, always apologizing for everything. the day after joshua's death, everything changed. seventeen would never be the same.   
jeonghan would call joshua every year on the day he died and he would never pick up. until one day, he did.

**Author's Note:**

> yiKES BAD ENDING AAA
> 
> twitter:yolkju


End file.
